NCEA 3.4 Writing Portfolio: Satire Advertisement

Hello, my name is Pete, head engineer at our new company called Charta. Complex made simple.
We wanted to rethink the conventional devices. Instead of phones, iPad and computers we wanted to create something truly extraordinary. Our goal was to remove the common issues these devices had such as size, hefty weight and lousy battery life and we are proud to say we have done this through our truly unique and innovative design. This is a product no company like Apple have even dreamed of making before. A product that is made possible because of its simplistic complexity.

But don’t let simplicity put you off, we haven’t compromised the durability of the device and in fact, its the new change in design makes it impervious to those high drops that those normal devices have as its new 100% shatter-free system allows you to carry it around with you worry-free, Letting you bring it further and farther.
Worried about display space? Don’t be. As it measures a mere 21 by 29.7cm making sure you never run out of your creative range. And to maximise you in this productive state we have removed all those pesky notifications that may interrupt with your work. Instead, we give you a purely real feel experience with revolutionary glitch-free hardware never putting you and your ideas first.
Never again will you feel your heavy “phone” in your pocket as it weighs less than 10mls of water through the ultra-light superior materials that we refine down to the atomic level. And forget ever having to help those old grandparents again with google again, as we have removed all those information stealing companies and made your privacy more private than ever before.
Its elegant and beautiful design gives it a unique profile that makes it impossibly, but perfectly thin. We call it Paper-thin. Paper-thin allows you to feel a device like never before and when you pack it away you don’t even know its there.
We have also listened to your requests instead of charging you $199 for an E-pen you can simply use your favourite pen or pencil. And when your pencil hits the surface, words and images appear with your every stroke making you in total control. From shopping lists to assignments, to stellar art piece, this has all been made possible. All done because of this ingenious scratch-free display. No charging ports because this device will never need one. Battery life will never be your problem ever again. This device relies on a whole new system that we call real-time.
All made possible by scouting the globe to find the finest materials possible.
But we also wanted to reduce our environmental impact so instead of using harmful polymers and hydrocarbons we use the super substance called pulp, 100% natural from nature itself.
All of this comes at an affordable price of $599.
Welcome to Charta’s new innovative product.
Welcome to paper.

Satire piece and plan

Head boy/Girl speech
Health report
Newspaper article
Users manual for a product(toaster) computer/i phone yes
Scientist speaking about a concept
President/Prime minister speech

A piece of paper ad
Never runs out of battery
100% natural feel
‘Paper-thin”
light as a feather

Say more why these phones and tablets are not as useful. Not as hard to set up and use. Never again will you have to explain to your grandparents how to use google
Add more how it benefits the user using more Jargon
Explain at the end the percussion the atomic level it took to make it as well as giving more hints to what it is. Have some epic finishing line

Idea 1
A Promotion article on the I Phone 12
Underline message about how addicted we are to our phones by all the “new” implementations on each new phone
Rip out how useful all this connection is
Slave made
Chargers breaking so you can buy more
More glass so you can break it

Frankie Boyle piece Trident suggests that Britan is becoming a place where the government doesn’t care about there citizens, by reducing there budget on Helth care and education, and instead of putting it towards military purposes such as the Trident project.”Perhaps we need to face up that Britain is becoming a sort of redneck country that doesn’t give a shit about education or health but must have the latest weapons.” The calculated GDP for each year is dropping from about 0.1% every 2 years where it started at 9.8% in 2013 and has been reduced to 9.6% in 2017. The GDP for Education has been steadily dropping since 2010 wherein 2013 it was 4.4% and in 2017 it was +-4%. 82 2013- 2016 79billion. However, the total spending on healthcare in the UK has actually gone up quite considerably where it started at 172 billion in 2013 and in 2017 is 197.4 billion. Where in fact Military GDP has reduced from 2.3% in 2013 to 2.1% in 2017. This data shows that Boyles view on the UK’s want for defensive/aggressive purposes is greater than the country’s healthcare and education purposes are not supported.

Building aircraft carriers without aircraft.

Subs as a place for Britains worst Deviants. Not enough space in Britans prisons? Sexual Assault?
UK sexual assaults have significantly increased from 20.7k in 2013 to 41.6k 2016

North Koreas likely attack on the world is low

East Germans in 1946-90

People in East Germany were put under the social system of Communism after WWII after the Soviets claimed there a part of Germany due to the agreements between the Allies and Soviets.

After WWII Russia had been hit hard by the war and many of there factories, roads, bridges, cities and other infrastructure and other supply chains had been destroyed when the German armies invaded mainland Russia in 1941 and Russia had to devote a huge amount of the rest of the country’s resources in military power rarther than repairs to there country to hold off the invasion. This left Russia resources relatively low and did not have the manpower to fix what had been damaged.

To solve this Russia came into East Germany and seized a great amount german citizens, factories supply to go back to mainland Russia to fix these repairs. Russia basically took everything from East Germany that would help rebuild russia as this was thier primarily concern.

Meanwhile, the Allies that also had major damage done to them made it their primary goal to help rebuild and reeducate West German citizens and make the country a better place as they didn’t want a repeat of what happened after WWI(which is what lead WW2 beginning)(although they did dissarm West germany in the process). Ultimatley the West geamans also had choice and were allowed to travel else where unlike East germans.

The Allies also introduced the Duche mark currency to West Germany which greatly out valued the currency of East Germany. This is what lead to West Germanys economic recovery.

Also between 1945-50 its approximated that well over 500,000 perhaps even close to a million women were raped after the red army came through East Germany. Some victums were assulted up to 70-80 times. This all happend as the soviets didn’t have a proper law system up and running in East Germany yet. The only controll they had was the red army them selves which wernt peace keepers, they were soliders. Now we cant complty deny that this didnt happen in the West as it is approximated that nealy 100000 may of been raped by US soliders in the west.

There is numrence amounts of other things such as the berlin wall which was to hold all East germans in as many wanted to leave to the West for a better life

Environment

Plastic, global warming and greenhouse gases. We have a global crisis and our planet is suffering heavily due to big companies owners disregard our environment for their own convenience. So to show our sympathy to the planet we no longer use plastic bags and instead cut down trees for paper ones.